vexarion:

ifyoucarryonthisway:

i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute 

aepicstranger:

thisretrodreamisneverending:

In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit

so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME’

and I just went ‘Sorry’ and he stopped coughing

omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now.

i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago

“sobbing, omg screaming, literally dead” I type as I sit straight-faced and completely devoid of visible emotion in front of my laptop

chrissykp:

phoenixwormwood137:

actuallyboycrazy:

think about the first person to have twins

how freaking confused do you think they were omg